Opinion

If the complexities of international relations could be squeezed allegorically into a high school drama, Syria would be represented by that awkward, depressed nerdy kid that everyone else shuns.

Poor Jon Huntsman. It isn’t bad enough that he is just fresh out of the Obama administration. In today’s hyper-partisan world, he made the very poor decision to be nice to our president.

If you’re reading this, you probably hate the Big Oil Companies. And, let’s be honest, there’s a whole lot of reasons for you to hate them. The only good thing that they do is provide jobs, but many alternative fuel programs would likely provide more.

Traditionally, professions that involve handling another person’s life have been highly regarded and valued by our society. So much so that professionals in those fields command high salaries for their work as a token of appreciation for the tremendous amount of responsibility they have to deal with daily.

Picture a place with no Chinese imports, Eastern-European prostitutes for the taking and fountains of oil in every major shopping center. We don’t know about you, but this sounds like America to us. A brand new, beautiful America. And who better to lead us on than a man who takes “amber waves of grain” to heart so much that he also takes it to his hairdresser?

Recently, an editorial appeared in the New U (“Time to Update the Master Plan?” April 26, 2011) that took stock of the University...

Do you ever feel like you’re being followed? Tracked? That someone, somewhere, knows your every move, your exact location? Well, chances are, if you have a SmartPhone, those fears are very, very real.

UC Irvine has yet again failed to provide its students healthy food choices on campus. Just months ago, the new Subway on the UCI campus opened its doors and offered the first 50 student customers free Subway sandwiches throughout the year. Sounds like a deal of a lifetime, right?

When I finished my midterm on Tuesday morning, I switched on my phone and was surprised by the flood of emails, articles and messages: Fatah, with mediation by Cairo, had successively reached a reconciliation pact with Hamas. Was Palestinian unity achieved overnight?

Meet X. X is a monkey. He is addicted to drugs and his skull has been battered in and crudely stitched up. His arms and legs show signs of self-mutilation, and clumps of hair are missing — all self-mutilation derived from the trauma of being confined, deprived, tormented and treated like disposable laboratory equipment.

Calling BS on Soccer – Dear Everyone at UCI that Pretends They Like Soccer: Just stop. Look, we get it. You did a semester abroad and now you think there is an international element to your personality, and now you totally “get” soccer.

The hardest thing about college is being separated from everything that is familiar to me: my friends, family, bedroom and especially my car.